Was officially accepted into the Master's of Science of Psychology program @ Shippensburg University for next year, one of U.S. New's top 100 U.S. colleges; I had always assumed my grades and such were good enough to be admitted but I never got the "official" word until I opened the package from the admissions office last night. Lots of decisions ahead.

Was at Ben's for the second half of the weekend, Ben is an awesome guy and despite what he says I don't think that town is all that bad, maybe it depends on the day. Ben and I love Jager bombs and Papa John's. Or Monster bombs (a Jager bomb mixed with Monster energy drink instead of the usual Red Bull)

Saw 3 almost "fights" at the Tally Ho last night, I walked into the back room and people were just running all over the place. It calmed down then another one almost erupted and then another one. I don't know what the heck any of it was about. Watching SAVED BY THE BELL yet again because there's nothing much on at 8AM on a Tuesday; that's if you don't feel like watching 1 of the 200 different news programs. Another sleepless night, my own fault though.

Bye for now.

Feel sort of insignificant today. Just some stuff sort of went down and not as I planned. It's like sometimes your best isn't good enough; there aren't many answers to all the questions that keep popping up. And once you answer one, another one appears somewhere, if not immediately, pretty soon.

You get this feeling like your running in place, spinning your wheels, falling back, when in reality, at least for me, everyday SOME level of progress is made, even if it's just by the smallest fraction; but it's still made. Some days are big days of progress, and I can recall a handful that were HUGE. But it's hard to see that on the day when you barely move an inch.

I'm trying to come to terms and accept that certain things, especially regarding my career, are not the same as they were a couple of years ago. Some things are much better, some things seem worse. And a lot of that seems out of my hands almost, because there were times I was a victim of circumstance and bad timing/luck.

You see, show business is a WEIRD business. It really is. People seem to turn on you or become your friend overnight depending on what they're their for in the first place. I've met some of the greatest people ever doing what I do, some I almost consider family, some I remain in touch with as casual friends, and I've also met people on the opposite end of the spectrum, as far opposite as you could imagine. I don't want to be mean, and I wish I didn't have to say it, but it's true. People that will turn their back on you the minute you are no longer something that makes them money or think you are something that will make them money. I understand it's show BUSINESS and these people aren't in it for free but it just amazes me how quickly some people forget. Or they will lie right to your face as you try to disguise your pain, because you know the words they're telling you aren't true, for a fact. Maybe I was naive but I never expected it to be this way; just the way some people are in this business, it's almost like they expect an attack from YOU so they preemptively strike with their own actions before you can. But I really wasn't planning on it, I wasn't. I know not everything with everyone "works out" in this business and I learned the hard way 5 years ago not to "burn your bridges" - as they say, cause sometimes I would do just that, just to watch them "burn" when I felt someone had done me wrong. I acted without thinking and it cost me in the end, and it could all have been avoided by a few minutes of patience before acting in a moment of anger.

And it also looks like it's falling apart with someone. Maybe not. Maybe I'm jumping the gun. I hope....

Had a photo shoot today with Bethany Joy, she was awesome. Check my myspace an facebook pages for the new photos if you'd like to see them.

I need a change. Change of pace. Change of scenery. Change of thoughts. Change of ideas. Change. But where?

I tried to be there for her
But I was not able to reach her
But then again
Maybe she was always out of reach.

I dunno.. and the Eagles lost 20-16 to the Cowboys.

I'm never really ready
I'm never really ready
I'm in repair
I'm not together but I'm getting there

:( ah, so much for World Series repeat. Congratulations NY fans. Phillies lost 4 games to 2. They won every playoff series this year and last year 4 games to 1 before that. Ouch. It seemed like it would happen after they won game 1 by a score of 6-1, because statistically it's like a 70% chance that the team who wins the first game wins it all, but not this time.

Miss hearing your voice, Mr. Harry Kalas!!

Show @ Mach's Gute tonight in Bethlehem tonight, see ya there.

have you seen me lately????

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." - E.B. White

Are you calling for our last dance?
I see it in your eyes
Same old moves for something new at last
I could use the same old lines
But I'll sing as you shine on
Just shine on
Close your eyes and they'll all be gone

With your smile just as bright as the sun
Where silence greets my last goodbye
The words I need are in your eyes
And I'll sing as you shine on
Just shine on
Close your eyes and they'll all be gone

j b

The rain.. the BOREDOM, stuck here all day watching the rain. my yard is flooded. i think i'm gonna go to walmart. maybe. nah probably not.

naw scratch that, i'm gonna take my SUV into a field and just bust some shit up. i'm sick of all the social drama. he wants her, she wants him, he doesnt want her but wants someone else, she wants someone else but kind of wants him, and your always in the middle, it's all a bunch of CRAP really. and i don't get any of it

Just amazing. They defeated the same team, the L.A. Dodgers, in 5 games. I almost don't know what to do with myself. Just incredible. Love that team through thick and thin, and trust me, if you know anything about the history of Philadelphia sports teams, you'd know there were MANY "thin" years - pretty much the entire 1984-2007 period, save 2 years, the 2005 Superbowl when the Eagles went to it, and the 2002 I think NBA finals with the 76ers. But neither team won, and we had no championships............... until the 2008 World Champion Philadelphia Phillies who will be defending their title on Wednesday night against *PROBABLY* the New York Yankees, although the Angels are still hanging in there, going to NY to finish games 6 & 7.

So we recorded the scratch guitar and vocal track for new song "Bloodshot (Pretty Girl) tonight in my manager's studio. Coming out pretty well. If you're not familiar with studio jargon, a "scratch" part is one where you just play it real quick and not neccesarily perfect JUST to get it down and recorded somewhere. Kind of like building a house, it's just the concrete thrown into the foundation. Then you build onto that, also while improving it. As for the song, it's catchy, at least. In fact, the chorus is stuck in my own head, which is a bizarre feeling, but also kind of, I dunno annoying. At least I know it's something memorable though because I wrote it myself and only heard it like 4 times. We'll see. I can't help it if I'm catchy! As long as the lyrics are good, and the song has feeling, I'm all for it. Being catchy and having a great hook is a bonus.

The final lines of this new song repeat over and over "that pretty pretty girl is just one drink away...." which is a total sarcastic line because it's just an excuse. She's always ONE drink away, and I'm always saying that until it's 2am, I've run out of time, or they've run out of time to give me another drink, and I get kicked out of the place. But so does she. So at least there's some common ground between us. Between me and the person I wish I could go talk to but I'm too shy for whatever reason. Thats how I am, UNLESS I have a microphone. Maybe I should start carrying a microphone with me, and just walking around with it all day, like in everyday situations. Then when I go up to her, I'd just talk to her while talking into the mic, and it would be much easier. I think I just need something in my hand, and the mic kind of gives me protection, not physical protection, but emotionally it's like, some sort of filter that my words come through. And that's part of what draws me to performing live. The microphone is my best friend when I'm on a stage. I would do anything for it. And the relationship is mutual, because without me and my voice, it is nothing but a piece of lifeless equipment, it needs me as much as I need it. Oh shit, I don't even know what I'm talking about. Maybe it's time to sleep. Going to read some of Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) and then see if I can sleep. Goodnight.

Strange day for the NFL. Watched the Angels & Yankees battle a 2-2 tie until the 13th inning or something last night until of course the Yankees won.

It snowed yesterday. No I am not kidding. It snowed friday around 2 inches and a little bit on saturday. May I remind all of you that it's October. Not even late October, it's mid October. Is this perhaps and indication of things to come this winter?

Phillies game 3 in the NLCS is tonight in an hour. Series tied 1-1 with the Dodgers. New York Giants lost today to the New Orleans Saints. Wow didn't expect that.

Feeling a bit introspective today. Wrote new song called "Bloodshot" which has some potential. I think it's a catchy little thing. We'll try working on it in the studio this week.

Lightning comes and lightning goes but it's all the same to me. Because I want YOU so I can hardly breathe, or release into 1000 pieces I have broken to. Over you. - SJ

....take game 1 of the 2009 National League Championship series vs the Los Angeles Dodgers, just like last year.... when the Phillies went on to win that AND the 2008 World Series. I seriously paced around the room watching the game just now for an hour, screaming at the TV as usual. Oh well, I can't help it. Raul Ibanez is one heck of a clutch-hitter. 3 run homerun, and so did Carlos Ruiz. This team is something special.

Phillies win 8-6.

I am doing better.. thank you for all the e-mails, comments and well-wishes! That was way more than I expected. THANK YOU!!!!

I am still feeling a little "off" but it seems to be getting better. Mostly psychological I think.

But now that's all been put in "the background" as something else has happened to someone in my family. He is OK but it's going to be tough from here on out. More on that later.

I'm going to level with you all here.

I've been addicted to something since 2004. That's five years. It is NOTHING illegal or terribly serious, but I am addicted. This week I decided to kick it because I'm tired of being a slave to it. It is not cigarettes or alcohol. I'm going through withdrawal, and I'm REALLY FUCKING SICK.

What makes me so mad about this is is that I went some 23 years of my life without needing it ever. And it's my own fault I started, because at the time it made me feel good and complacent. And now, it got me. Anyone who looks down on people who become addicted to things, whatever it may be.. please don't look down on them anymore. It is a real disease, a complex physiological and psychological disease.

Wish me luck, as I plan on spending the next 3-4 days in bed while the worst part of it comes out of me and I detox myself..

Yes I am being purposefully secretive about what it is exactly because I don't think anyone needs to know and I don't want to give anyone ideas. Just know this is one of the hardest things I've had to do in my entire life and I would do anything to go back to the first day I started and smack myself across the face and say "don't do it you fucking idiot kid"

I want to help people heal themselves with music the way it once helped me. Well, not helped me, SAVED me. There was something powerful about singing because of the way it brought people together, and how it made me feel as if it was something magical, something that comes from nothing, and it made me feel OK with myself for once. anything from a song to as little as a set of piano notes.. it does something that words can't do. it gets THROUGH to other people. sometimes on a stage it feels like something takes me over and actually sings through me, thats the best I can put it, and for a shy guy like me thats all i could ever ask for.

all i ever wanted to do. was help

really all i ever wanted to do

Wow. There are parts of central Pennsylvania that are as desolate and isolated as you'd ever imagine it could be in the year 2009. Visiting grad schools I wound up on some crazy road in the mountains, over 2,200 feet for over an hour going back and forth trying to find a gas station. It was 10pm, pitch black, and I was pretty close to freaking out. NO cell phone service anywhere, not even a roaming signal, no houses in sight. Eventually I came upon a small town called Saxton, PA and got some gas. That was weird, it was seriously like a huge empty desert with trees, nothing for miles, just a road. I found out later I was just about 2 hours east of Pittsburgh.

The Madden curse may have struck again. Troy Polomalua, from the Pittsburgh Steelers, just went down with a knee injury in the first NFL game of the 2009 season. Whoa. That certainly seems like more than a coincidence now.

Shows @ the Riverwalck tomorrow night and then Conway's smokehouse on Saturday night. Pug is chilling next to me somewhere, snorting away. Going to bed soon, fighting a sore throat and some allergies.

"Smell sun block on her hot skin in a bungalow before the day begins
She had fake diamonds shining on her finger I'm as bad for you as anyone you ever knew still you stole my soul or I gave it to you

Get high and do the five five deal, rock a fanny pack now from the front,
She's generous with the bumps of fake cocaine, it was funny once then now it's funny again and I was never able to reach her" - Summertown

I had to get away

I needed to breathe

I had to go, for now

and I'm sorry

So one of my favorite bands since 1997 or so FINALLY, after 6 years of delays and waiting, released their 4th studio album this past Tuesday, called "Ursa Major" - and it's flipping great.

Love it.

Oh, and the band I'm referring to is Third Eye Blind.

Don't write them off because of a couple of hit pop songs in the late 1990's - their IS substance to the material. Really.

Even the single "Semi-Charmed Life" - their biggest hit from their debut album (aka the song with all the "Do-Do-Do-Do Do Do Do's") is actually a cautionary tale about addiction and losing touch with the world around you.

Well, to be blunt, it's about being addicted to crystal methamphetamine and participating in promiscuity. The fact that it was the #1 played song on the radio in the year 1997 is proof that we sometimes don't pay enough attention to lyrics in songs.

Anyways, back to the new album. If you have it, or you're a fan, the best 3 songs I think are:
1) Bonfire
2) About To Break
3) Monotov's Private Opera

Let me know what you think if y'all got it.
.
.
.
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"For the social worker at the needle exchange
For the self medicated and the heart deranged"

Michael Vick just signed a 2-year deal with the Philadelphia Eagles.

Wow.

That shocked me so much, I just had to post.

Now even more people may hate us.

We are currently in the final hours of the month of July 2009.

Goodbye, July.

You were a strange month. Partially good, partially not.

Some highs.
Some lows.
You know how it goes.

Hey, that rhymed.

Well it's a Friday night. Pizza and beer. What else is there??

Well, more than I can type here befoer August begins.

Is it accurate that when you had "something to say" but you forgot what it was exactly for whatever reason, that it couldn't have been that important in the first place? Or is memory a bit more complicated than that?

I wonder.

So the discussion on whether or not we have been visited by UFOs came up today and if you as a person believe it or not. I felt like writing a blog about this.

Well, in terms of myself, I used to believe it.

When I was young.

Then I went to college and had many a experimental design and statistics course, and I realized there is no proof and it cannot be scientifically studied, so it's not very likely they visit Earth. It IS however extremely likely that life exist elsewhere but only in rare conditions.

I am not saying just because we can't study something doesn't mean it is false. And I am NOT referring to life in general outside of our planet. It's out there. Life that is. It's almost a mathematical certainty.

The problem with the whole "do they visit us" thing is there are no scientific ways to design an experiment to test this. There are no variables to manipulate. We have no reliable data or evidence besides sketchy eye-witness accounts and therefore our hypothesis can't reliably be tested and then proven.

Also note, that this also means we can't prove they DON'T exist either. It works both ways.. but in all the sightings and the alleged close encounters, not one shred of proof is here (that I'm aware of).

It upsets me, because much like the character of Fox Mulder in one my favorite shows of all time, "The X-Files" - I *WANT* to believe.

I'll get specific here for a moment on 2 very simplw reasons why I don't believe they visit us in UFO's and such:

1) It being the year 2009, and despite millions and millions of people having cameras in their cell phones that they carry around in their pocket 24/7, there is still not one convincing photograph of an alien or UFO. Back before the cell phone boom, you'd always hear people saying things like "it was hovering right in front of my face, I just wish I had a camera!!" - Now nearly everyone DOES have a camera, and have had them for 2-3 years, and yet still, nothing.

2) Why would the UFO's have lights on them? It makes no sense if you think about it. If they really do want to remain undetected and secretive, I would think having flashing/blinking multi-colored lights on their crafts would be the dumbest thing they could do. For a race that is supposed to be so far advanced of our own, in terms of intellect and technology, we would think they would have some other way of navigation without a bunch of lights in the night sky.

My .02.

****NEW TWITTER PAGE****

Now on Twitter, finally. Go to www.Twitter.com/jordanFwhite don't forget the F. "follow" us if you are a member and we will "follow" you. and of course www.myspace.com/jordanwhite is here.

Here is a rare morning post (currently 9:04am) from me. I don't know why I'm posting I just felt like it, and I had an extra few minutes here.

So, tonight we have a show at the Blue Mountain pub, and then another show next Friday. Hmm. Yeah. It looks kinda cloudy outside. No rain, though. 22 out of 30 days rained in the month of June, but so far the month of July has been much kinder, although not much hotter.

Picked up the new Rob Thomas solo album over the weekend. It's not bad. The first one was better though, and his work with Matchbox Twenty was better yet.